Śmiechu warte: postanowienia noworoczne

Kiedy strzelają korki od szampana, deklarujemy chęć zmian. A po kilku dniach… przyrzeczenia idą w niepamięć. Aby dotrzymać słowa, należy popracować nad motywacją i nie zakładać niemożliwego. Przyda się też trochę uśmiechu i dystansu do samego siebie.

 
Znane cytaty

• “New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”

(Mark Twain) 

• “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”

(Oscar Wilde)

• “We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”

(Edith Lovejoy Pierce)

• “Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Old age is when you're forced to.”

(Bill Vaughn)

• “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.”

(Benjamin Franklin)

• “I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.”

(Robert Paul)
 
 
Zabawne postanowienia noworoczne:

• I will polish my pate (głowa). – bald person (łysy)
• I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. – executive (dyrektor)
• I will not regale (podejmować) the same yarn (opowieść) at every get-together (spotkanie). – incorrigible bore (niepoprawny nudziarz)
• I will remember that 'Cream Cake Day' is on the 29th of every month. – foodie (łakomczuch)

 
Noworoczne postanowienia alkoholika:

• 2008: I will not take a drink before 6:00 p.m.
• 2009: I will not open the bottle before noon.
• 2010: I will not let drinking become a problem.
• 2011: I promise not to miss any AA meetings.

 
Postanowienia Azora:

• I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV.
• I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the back yard with it.
• I will not chew red crayons or pens, because my master will think that I am haemorrhaging (mieć krwotok).
• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house.

Wskazówka dla walczących ze stresem:

• “Stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts”.

Pomysł na postanowienie noworoczne dla niezdecydowanych:

• Visit englishblog.pl! more frequently! :-)

Zobacz także:
New Year’s resolutions
Słynne cytaty: Mark Twain
Słynne cytaty: Benjamin Franklin